Advice- what not to do in relationships

A guide on what not to do in relationships 

Hello my lovely’s, how are we doing today? Finally managed to get a good night sleep in me! I had my boyfriend over, I felt super safe and relaxed with him being there :).

I have been trying to post this blog post since late last night, but the WiFi wasn’t having it, and then decided to delete it .. Fun times right.
I thought that it would be interesting and helpful to note down what you shouldn’t do in relationships; I was treated badly in the past; from my ex’s behaviours I have created a list of what not to do in relationships.
Most of these are common sense, but there are things out there which some people might not know. If you want to give this post a little read then go ahead :). 

If you want to read other advice blog posts, click here!

Background information:
I’ve had 3 years of experience with relationships, in this time frame I had 3 relationships (not including the one I’m in now). I’m not going to name names, but these 3 individuals taught me a lot about how bad relationships can be; because before I met Chris, I was never truly happy; simply because I was never treated right. 
I’ve been cheated on countless times, hurt mentally and physically. Not all of them physically hurt me, only one of them, and that was my first ever boyfriend; if you want to know more about that situation click here.
I still am a very shy and kind person, maybe I was too kind to all of them, if they wanted anything I gave my all, but in return they gave nothing back, they took advantage of my personality. But I have learnt so much from these people, I have learnt to become stronger as a person, and not have to give everything up. Now I am truly and utterly happy with Chris, we have nearly been together a year :).

Don’t lie to your partner:

This sounds obvious, and for some people out there who are reading this is probably thinking I’m stupid. I’m really not. Don’t lie to your other half, I can’t stress enough how much this  hurt me over the years, I don’t care how much the truth hurts, I can handle the truth. Lies ruin trust, which is one of the main factors in a relationship; it’s the glue that holds everything together-if that is broken chances are you won’t be together very long after that incidence. Female or male, just don’t lie, if you can’t be truthful to the person you claim to love then leave, because they don’t deserve to be treated in this way.
Some of the lies that I was told was told ruined me:

  • “I would never cheat on you, you’re my world”;
  • “I love you”;
  • “I will always be there for you”;
  • “she’s nobody, just a friend, she’s like a sister to me”
  • “I was out in town, sorry I was late”;
  • “my Granddad died” 

Don’t put their hopes up and bring them down:

This was constant for me, I learnt over the years that if they said they were going to do something, chances are they weren’t. This is one of the most disappointing factors, simply because there modd could change in a heartbeat. For example, there was a time where my ex promised to take me out, it was to say sorry for something that he did previously. I made sure that I looked nice, spent hours getting ready and even bought new clothes. I walked to where we were meant to meet and waited for at least an hour; for him to say, “sorry, something came up I will do it another time”.
I can’t stress this enough, if  you can’t keep your word, or do what you say you are going to do, either change the way you treat people or leave your current partner; simply because this is heartbreaking. 

Don’t take advantage of them:

Don’t ask or take money:
Don’t ask for money, or even guilt trip them into giving you money. That is their money, they have worked hard for that, if they want to treat you they will, but only when they want to and if they can afford to. If you ask for money on a regular basis get your own job or spend your own wages. In my case I had an ex who would constantly ask for money, and I would give it to them as they would make me feel awful if I didn’t. They would also steal from me, all of my hard working pennies went on them; and not because I wanted to. This ruins relationships, I wish I left that person sooner; but because of certain circumstances I couldn’t.

Never forget your friends:

When you head into a new relationship you start to put your partner before anyone else, but don’t let this consume your life. You have known your friends more than this person you are currently with. I made this mistake once and I hated myself for it; I put my ex’s before my friends and I regret it so much; I hurt them as I didn’t make time for them. In my current relationship I share myself equally, I don’t spend too much time with my boyfriend or friends; I also need alone time when it comes to it-everyone needs to relax at some point in their life. 

Don’t compare your other half:

Never do this! And if you do STOP IT RIGHT NOW! The amount of time my ex’s would do this, it would break my heart and shatter it to millions of pieces. I was constantly compared to other girls who had bigger boobs, bigger hips and prettier faces. It really does take a toll, it makes you feel worthless and not good enough. I always struggled putting on weight, I’m a very slim person; and with this comes no boobs. I was constantly reminded of this insecurity. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly comparing you to other people; they are not worth your time. Leave them, because you are amazing in your own way, if they can’t see that and won’t appreciate you, then they don’t deserve your beautiful self. 
This is the end of my post! Thank you so much for reading this! If you are going through this situation, then get yourself out of it! If  you want to contact me for further information then please feel to do so :). If you are reading this and you are doing this to people, leave the person you are with and change yourself; people should not be treated in this way; it ruins them for years-believe me I was a victim of this. 
I love you all so very much, I will see you tomorrow with a review! Stay safe and stay tuned Little ones! 😀 x x x 

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